Cosmos & Cosmos
by jiemae
Summary: One, a beautiful sight to behold. The other, indescribable amidst its clandestine horrors. [SI-OC Insert as Ino]
1. Lotus

_cosmos (n); the universe seen as a well-ordered whole._

 _cosmos (n); cosmoses (p.n); an ornamental plant of the daisy family with single dahlia-like flowers._

 **Lotus**

She was five when she realized that the world had always been wrong and unfair and always would be.

She was six when she had begun to see and feel how real the pain could be, the devastation that could be wrought onto the body and most importantly, the mind.

She was seven when she realized who she was and the terrible, terrible mistake that anyone thought it was a good idea to let her be in the show she used to idolize. Was that irony in effect? She could never decide.

She was twelve when hormones and puberty began to kick in and god was that a living nightmare to live through it a second time. She'd suffered enough the first time, she didn't figure why she had to do it a second. Or why she existed at all. Or why she was inside a fictional character. Or why she was even aware of being fictional in the same thought of _her_ being real.

Ok, ok. Things were confusing, to say the least.

To make it simple, all she could say was that her name hadn't always been Ino Yamanaka—even if she couldn't recall what it had been. She did know something else though. She knew one very important thing and that is; she was not supposed to be alive.

She was supposed to be very, very dead. It would also help if she didn't have those pestering memories of a future she shouldn't be aware of. But, well, what can you do when you're actually meant to be six feet under and rotting in a casket?

The answer is nothing. Not a goddamn thing.

See, something else she learned in all the years of her second life; the universe was as well-put together as a drunk in high heels.


	2. White Rose

_cosmos (n); the universe seen as a well-ordered whole._

 _cosmos (n); cosmoses (p.n); an ornamental plant of the daisy family with single dahlia-like flowers._

 **White Rose**

"What a drag," Shikamaru muttered low enough that their teacher couldn't hear him. He was coated in sweat and he smelled like salt and manure to her.

She was in complete agreeance with him. _What a drag indeed_.

"Do you think if we do a good job, Asuma-sensei will treat us to some barbeque later?" Choji wondered and with his face turned up towards the sun, he swallowed in anticipation of it.

Asuma looked back and with only Ino able to see it from her perspective, she caught his wink.

"Maybe if his girlfriend puts him in a good mood," Ino responded, looking away.

Annoyed, she hefted her shovel and hating how exhausted her arms felt, having been at it for hours with no breaks in between. She didn't want to stop, though, as she had shit to do later on that day and couldn't afford to dillydally.

Mostly it was comprised of going home, drawing a bath, setting flower petals and a handmade bath bomb into the water before pruning up like a raisin while reading a novel or two. Hopefully after the bath, the smell of manure on her skin would be replaced with something much nicer.

Next time they had a D-rank mission on a farm, she'd call in sick instead and not bother about the paycheck.

"Ino-chan, you're really going at it today, aren't you? Enjoy farming?" Asuma asked and she bit down the retort that would have gotten her punished.

He was just doing his usual thing—trying to worm his way into her heart after weeks of having no luck with it.

She'd overheard him talking with his girlfriend about her and it might have been that he'd done that purposely. No jounin's let kids overhear conversations they didn't want them to hear.

"Tell the Hokage to give us better missions," was all she said and while it made the edges of his eyes tighten, her words alone had become a staple of her complaining. Something he was probably coming to expect from her. She didn't say them with any real meaning, no desire to really be listened to.

In fact, it was just something she liked to say to get under his skin. A subtle hint that she wanted to be kept at a distance to him.

At the end of the day, Ino didn't actually care to receive better missions. She would do anything and everything asked of her, with pretty much nothing beside obedience guiding her.

That was how she'd been raised, after all.

With a soft sigh, Ino continued to shovel and nobody said another word to her.

Later on, in training, she knew she'd pay for it.


	3. Spider Lily

_cosmos (n); the universe seen as a well-ordered whole._

 _cosmos (n); cosmoses (p.n); an ornamental plant of the daisy family with single dahlia-like flowers._

 **Spider Lily**

"Why do you do it?"

Ino glanced sideways, towards Shikamaru who wasn't even facing her. They were laying in the grace, looking up at the sky and supposed to be saying nothing. That's what they usually did when they had some time to kill anyway.

She cleared her throat but found she couldn't quite work the words out of her mouth.

"Nevermind," he breathed, quiet again.

At that, Ino sat up and looked directly him. She scowled. "Do what?"

He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes but otherwise didn't acknowledge her. She smacked his leg and made sure it hurt, glaring. She hated when he did that; started something and didn't finish it.

Shikamaru sighed, but under her stare, he relented after a few more moments. She could hear him audibly swallow but seconds later, he muttered in a dull tone, "push him away. He's supposed to be teaching us but you ignore him."

"I don't ignore him, not really," she mumbled, pulling her legs to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. With her hand, she worked on plucking up pieces of grace and shredding them. There was no reason to do it, just that she was bored and he'd brought up an irritating topic for her.

He scoffed at her answer but said nothing.

Bothered, she glared at the sight of the sunset and somehow found it within herself wanting to explain it. Not because it was him she was talking to, and not because he asked. Probably because she wanted to know a little too.

"You know, he won't always be a our teacher," she mumbled. "We'll be promoted as chuunin and then we won't really need to see him as much. One day, we'll even become jounin if you can get off your ass long enough to get there."

"I guess that's true." He sighed, and though she hadn't asked for his opinion, he added, "I like him though."

"Well, good for you," Ino muttered. "I bet it's really nice having someone to play shogi with when no one else wants to get smeared by you."

"Ahh." He sat up suddenly, making her jump as the two met each other's gazes.

"What?"

"You really aren't as cute as you used to be, it's kind of sad." He looked anything but.

Her face screwed up at the insult and flipped her hair while she was at it. "I'm plenty cute, dumbass."

He smirked, standing up. "Whatever, ugly, I'm going home."

"Idiot," she ground out, turning away from him and back to the mountain of grass shreddings she was making.

He was still as much of a moron as everyone else, in the end.


	4. Morning Glory

_cosmos (n); the universe seen as a well-ordered whole._

 _cosmos (n); cosmoses (p.n); an ornamental plant of the daisy family with single dahlia-like flowers._

 **Morning** **Glory**

Sometimes, Ino got tired. She got tired of herself.

"Why don't I act nicer? He's going to die anyway, and I'll just have been a bad memory to him." Because, obviously, she was the sign that life went on after death and Asuma could theoretically be living it up in a different world after he died. Or be reborn again in this one.

Death shouldn't be as sad as it was, but Ino couldn't change that. Even _she_ felt a bit melancholic about the fact that she already passed away once. There was no changing the fact that any loss was to be felt in some way.

"Life is just a misery," she muttered.

Ino would've blamed this thought process on her currently going through puberty again, if she didn't believe it so sincerely.

"I don't want to die though," she admitted.

She must be a masochist for suffering. Or maybe life wasn't all that bad. Maybe life resented the people that already started off resenting it. Maybe life hated those that spoke loud, declarative statements for the sake of being a brat. Maybe life loved those that were in love with it.

Eh.

"It's what you make of it, I guess."

Not that she would ever be caught saying she loved anything out loud.

"Maybe it won't be too bad, being friends with someone I know will die. I mean, everyone dies anyway. No one else seems to care so much about it affecting their friendships, so why should I?"

Other people also weren't cowards, who pretended to have a crush on a guy to keep the plot of a world churning as it was supposed to. They weren't cowards who broke off good relationships for the same reason.

They weren't cowards too afraid to make waves.

"Guess I should be nicer then."


End file.
